May morning

"What’s the height? We want them to be higher. We’re all quite tall.”

“They don’t make them any higher. It’s a standard height.”

“Oh - but that’s the whole thing. I want to get my chair under.”

“Sorry. 74 centimetres. It’s health and safety.”

“IT Support, can I help you?”

“But I’m not a standard height.”

“You could put it up on blocks, John. Like the missis.”

“See what I mean, the arms catch.”

“He’s with someone at the moment. Can anyone else help?”

“Why don’t you take the arms off?”

“I didn’t realise you could.”

“Yes, see - you just turn it over. They unscrew.”

“Just you go in from the back, John. Oh they’re a terrible lot down here.”

“Easy...!”

“Oo, I knew you’d be trouble!”

“It’s like being back in Amsterdam, eh Steff?”

“I suppose I don’t need arms.”

“That’s right. So what colour do you want - beech?”

“Yes, I like the sound of beech. That’s nice and light isn’t it.”

“Or there’s maple.”

“No he wants beech.”

“Nice to have the fucking choice but no, all right, beech it is.”

“Everyone’s got to have the same.”

“Or we can do grey.”

“Grey is what they have down in Logistics. Smart.”

“Well, I don’t know...”

“IT Support, good morning..... Yes, I fucking told you, they’re on my desk. Five minutes!....”

“Cold, though. Very cold.”

“We don’t want to have that steely hi-tech look. We have enough shit in here as it is. We like to have plants and things.”

“I think it is beech that they have up in Credit Control? Bloomin lovely it is.”

“We need to do a tour.”

“It shows you in the catalogue. Here, this’ll give you an idea.”

“Oh yeah, that’s the baby. That’s the one we want.”

“That’s beech.”

“It’s very light. We’ll have to stop throwing coffee around.”

“No problem. It just wipes off. They’re all wipeable.”