On listening

Listening helps us to understand. But understanding doesn't help us to listen.


It's possible to understand someone so well that we stop listening to them.


We stop attending to what they are saying, and instead we attend to what it tells us about what we understand.


Oh, that's so typical! we think. Or perhaps, You've changed your tune.


We've lost something that we once had. Once the words said something, but now they only mean something. We look behind the words. After all, it's not as if we're just getting to know each other!


Tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner.


But is it a pardon that people really want? Isn't it, rather, a hearing?